Hi y’all! I wanted to write this to describe “Alone in the Dark” and the meaning behind the series of “The Duality of (Hu)man”.
Making “Alone in the Dark” was hard. I’ve never cried before while making a piece, but this time felt different. I felt vulnerable… and scared.
“Alone in the Dark” takes place during my years of University. I was alone for the first time in so long. I lived in my own apartment away from everyone and, for the most part I enjoyed the freedom it gave me. But, it doesn’t mean I was entirely happy for all those years.
Most of the times I struggled alone with my thoughts, my feelings, my sexuality… Everything you could think of. My weight-loss journey helped a ton but even that can only mitigate so much.
Many times I would talk to myself… or more specifically trying to find anyone… anything out there that would listen to my voice and answer back. I had never been religious, but during those really low lows, I sometimes felt as though it might have been necessary to use religion as a crutch.
As the days passed, I looked for someone to hang around with. I was lucky an old friend of mine attended the same university and initiated the texts of wanting to hang out together. I later ruined that relationship through stupidity, lust and longing… I’m glad he forgives me for what I’d done but I’ll always remember that moment as the dumbest I’d ever been. To ruin such a good thing because of my selfishness… it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I hate the person I used to be, but I also look at those times as great lessons learned. I have grown so much since then.
I tried as best I could to make each piece as close to how I felt as possible. Lots of existentialism, lots of crying… lots of dark, dark times. But it’s what made me the person I am today, so it’s not all bad.
Thank you for reading. I hope y’all enjoy ❤
I’ll be doing another one of these for Part 2 and also Part 3 to explain them more in depth.
I’ll see you when I see you.
