I wanted to take the time to make this because it’s been on my mind lately. This is going to be heavy in theme, but I’ll try to make it as light as possible. Mental health is extremely important to talk about.
You are not defined by others
I want to make this as blunt as possible but also as caring as possible: Fuck the opinions of others. Did you put a ton of time, thought and work into what you did? Whether it be art, a poem, a novel, or a blog? Then only you can judge that work. No one else knows who you are. Your work can only be validated by you. If you worked hard to be innovative, and you worked hard to be as original as possible, then you deserve to be credited. By yourself, and no one else.
You are not to compare to others
Following the above: Your work is yours, not any others’. When you compare yourself to others, you are immediately doing yourself a disservice. You’re saying your work is only as good as others perceive it. Please, please do not do that. A toaster can only toast things. It’s not meant to cook a steak. An egg can only taste like an egg, not like a jalapeno.
In other words, do and focus on what you can, and not what you cannot.
Be Yourself
Take a moment to think about this question: “Who are you?”
Have you thought about it? Good. Now remember that for the rest of your life. Write it down if you have to. Tell your friends, your family about who you are. You are you and no one else.
Talking to Others
It’s hard to get out of your comfort zone. It really is. But you have to do it sometime. Do not feel pressured to talk to XYZ amount of people in under ZYX time. You can go at your own pace, and at your own time. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. You’ve heard this time and time again, but it is very true and always will be.
Some advice from me to you: Learn how to talk about others. Not about yourself, unless you are specifically asked. A compliment can go a long way. We are all humans, after all.
Something I’ve found, as a very anxious, and moody young adult, to be an easy start is: Give them a compliment followed by a small question. Start the conversation about them. If they ask about you, you give them something small and go back to them. You want to give them the platform, not yourself. Ask them about their day. Ask them about their recent project, or about their home life. Or, better yet just ask them what they like to do. There are many apples to pick from the branches that particular seed will sprout. I wouldn’t ask them about work unless their favorite thing to talk about is their work.
You’re not as annoying as you think you are.
This goes out to my introverted family. Love you all to death. Networking can be hard. We tend to reflect on the bad moments more than the good because we try to be the best we can be. And while this mentality seems normal, it’s definitely not healthy. When you speak to someone new, you should know they are more similar to you than you might have originally thought.
For example: When someone asks you a question, do you get annoyed? Just a simple question, nothing fancy. Think about it… Well, do you?
And therein lies the problem or solution.
We are social creatures by nature. We love to talk… about anything really. Ourselves, our friends, our family, our hobbies and so on.
With that said, keep trying to make a connection. It doesn’t have to be every day, and it doesn’t have to be every week. But do it as often as you can and eventually you’ll make that connection. Soon enough you’ll start having back and forths about random events, random projects and so on! Have that goal in mind when talking to someone. Don’t worry about yourself until you have to.
Be okay with making mistakes
You’re not going to get everything 100% of the time. You’re not always going to be at 100% of yourself all the time. Be okay with making the mistakes you have made. Learn from them. We can never improve if we are perfect from start to finish. We can never be humans if we weren’t flawed. Use it as a reminder that what you did isn’t you anymore.
A teenager’s mind doesn’t work the same as that of a fully grown adult’s. Just keep that in mind ;)
You CAN change
Your life and your decisions are NOT set in stone. You can make your own decisions, and you can make your own life. Carve away at the stone that is life and mold it into something beautiful. Change who you are, and change how you want to be. Take little steps to achieve this.
Taking the steps to actually change
A quote I recently learned, and that which struck a nerve with me was:
“How you do anything, is how you do everything”.
Small things add up. Making your bed, taking out the trash, cleaning your room, how you interact with others,and so on. That said, you will only change when you want to change.
As well, take things slowly! You are not going to climb a mountain without first starting from the bottom.
Keep your goal in mind but not as your main reason for climbing. The journey is always just as important as reaching the goal itself.
Making a list
Here’s something fun: Make a list of your accomplishments. It’s easy to forget the successes you’ve had if you don’t lay them down in front of you. Like stated above, small things add up. Even the smallest accomplishments will add to something bigger. A penny is only a penny until it’s accompanied by 100s of others.
Taking a break
Taking a break is not a bad thing. Many people around the world have been planted with a seed in their mind about how hard work pays off, but never taught about the dangers of overworking. Nor are they taught the benefits of taking breaks. When you take a break, you’re not only giving yourself that time to breathe, you are giving yourself time to rest. You are also helping yourself grow. A tired mind will not grow as fast as a relaxed one. Just like any muscle in the body.
Whether or not you’re swamped with work, find the time to take that break. Even if it’s for only 30 minutes out of the day, or two 30 minute sessions spread throughout that day.
Ending thoughts
I’ve been doing my best to stay afloat in life, but entering a new world comes with new fears, new rules, new people. And I tend to fail a lot of those rules at the beginning, and turn away a lot of those people. My fears always get the best of me without me wanting them to.
But that doesn’t mean I haven’t changed. And that goes for you, too! Don’t let your past actions define who you are now, or who you will be in the future!
Make someone out of yourself ❤.
As always, thank you all for reading!
I’ll see you when I see you.
